She threw away the human shield, not the bag. It’s the gift that keeps on stealin’!
- GM: Now it's your turn.
- Investigator, in a clown-barian costume: I pull out a seltzer bottle...
- Shaman: I am into wherever this is going.
- GM: Now I'll need to name this place...
- Shaman: Orcish Times?
- Investigator: Barbarian Banquet?
- Shaman: Savage Eats!
- Thief: Orky Cheese?
- GM: 'Orky Cheese' gives me a pain in my head, so that's gotta be it.
- GM: It's a new-money orcish tapas place, there's a river running through it and...
- Shaman: Is it called Orcish Times? Are there knights?
Basically the opposite of tapas. Orcish tapas.
GM, describing the restaurant our mark is in.
defense turret loaded with banana slugs
- NPC: I AM RE-EVALUATING MY LIFE CHOICES.
- NPC: I WISH THIS WERE HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE.
- We determined our best way to get into an Ares showroom is to be the Moon Empress.
- GM: Walk into the club like what up I'm a foreign dignitary.
Now we’re bargaining for prophetic fanfiction of our team. Great.
I brought a chicken! …for sanity…
- Thief and Rigger, explaining: We watched too much The Pretender on dark dystopian Netflix, and now we're stealing an evil piano!
Oh shit… we just stole a drake from Lofwyr.
- Rigger: How do I keep getting sucked into these things?
- Shaman: Do NOT get sucked into the evil piano!
Anti-gravity goats do not grow on trees!
- GM: Roll scholarship to rub grape soda on the window.
- Rigger: Isn't that craftsmanship?
The Runners Law of Occam’s Mage
After hours of planning involving tracking guard movements, hacking drones, looping security feeds, and making numerous infiltration tests. The mage finally suggests.
"Or I could just make us invisible."
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